It's hard to believe
something as simple as that
can brighten my day
coming into the room
lying there on the bed
red bull and gum
can someone actually care
this is a confusing feeling
someone was thinking of me
this is all new
put together with a note
this is what it said
can't wait to see you
a smiley face came after
I knew at that point
that I was a goner for sure
theirs no one else like this
and it's her that I'm after
The ode requires that you focus all your attention on one thing (or person). In this case, even the title hints that you may not have focused on one thing. It would be more appropriate, then, to focus on the bed OR Red Bull OR gum OR even the particular note. Odes require near obsession. They require attention to all the facets of a thing in order to make that thing's amazing qualities come forth. 7/10
ReplyDeleteI like this poem. I can relate, but it's him that I'm after..
ReplyDelete